Sunday, January 17, 2010

good things.

some things i am really grateful for, and things i am seriously digging:

a date by myself for TWO WHOLE HOURS!
i went to powells books (a three story full city block long bookstore- need i say more?) and roamed through the literature section and the poetry section and the new fiction section and the travel section. i wore my black boots and i sat and i read about cities in mexico and poems by black women inmates and saw calendars and journals and cards and magnets and more books then i have ever seen in my life.

i was in book heaven.

when i die, please let me drift endlessly as a readin' fool at powells.

oh my goddess, this place was amazing.. and i felt like i was swimming in an enormous bowl of words. AN ENORMOUS BOWL OF WORDS. and i was my own word/name floating around in all of these other words, and each person was their own word swimming amongst the books.

and then i went to the library. and to the little local food co-op, and had a coffee.
and the rain was just rain, not some siren call for depressed thoughts.

i am grateful for the health of my children and the fact that the next year will hold tremendous changes and beautiful experiences.

good things are not just "happy" things. good things can be hard things, too.

2009 was an extremely difficult year- hard. but good. i found a strength i didnt think existed within myself and i grew tremendously.

what are your good things?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

good love.

i have decided that there only two things in the world that are the most important for me to remember.

am i good?
do i love?

within those questions are thousands of answers and more questions and they all lead back to those two.

being good, for me, is being connected to the source and essence of life- which is god, goddess, and love.

loving is being mindful and kind in every way and everything i do-to myself, family, actions, thoughts, daily routines.

there is a buddhist saying that says we should live each day like it is our last, we will find much joy in our lives then.

this helps me unbelievably when i get caught up in my own tangled webs of discontent or complaining (which is really just another way of hiding something, i find)

the best part about turning 31 is the awakening i feel.

my baby has her appointment tomorrow and either way we will know more.

i feel more at peace with everything, as i know that we will just continue to love her as we have been doing. most of it is out of my control. i have to let go.

on a completely different note, we got some rugs and something to hold our records, and something to hold our shoes, and our apartment feels different on an energetic level.
its amazing how sometimes the most simple of tasks can make such important changes.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


big week this week.
babies endo appt on friday-
today i am taking my girls to a naturopathic physician to see why my three (almost 4 holy cow!) year old has excema on her arms and why its getting worse.
i am working out again.
my man and i are organizing and our apartment feels more liveable.
have you seen food inc?
the doc on food/where it comes from/how and why?
it is beyond disturbing.
it really inspired my husband and he now wants to eat the way i do- healthy, fresh, organic, non gmo, veggie.

i am up before my family, sipping coffee in my elvis mug.
doesnt get much better then that.

lately we have been talking about getting off the grid completely.

i want to manifest a garden. i want to can and jar my own produce for the winter.
i want to stop complaining and count my blessings.
i want to swim in the ocean.
i want to laugh more.
i want to s t r e t c h.
i want to finish MY PAINTING!
i want to never give up.

i want to remember my divinity and i want to remember yours too.

i want to create always. always.

the rain falls (surprise surprise) but somehow i am learning to accept it. . .
you wear galoshes!