Thursday, November 26, 2009


today, as some of my family gathers, i remember to breathe and to be grateful.
i prepared veggies and stuffing and appetizers and chopped and cut and organized and cleaned, and burned my hand and turned the oven up, then turned it down, and drank a glass of wine, and as everything cooks in the oven, and its 80 degrees here in southern california and my husband and children and grandparents gather, i am thankful and grateful for my life.
and for you.

Monday, November 23, 2009

my girls.

to be wed.

this sounds weird, but this song helped me make the decision to marry my husband, five long years ago...

(and this is some writing i did concerning getting married and my passion for my husband....we have had a long road with time apart, but we are still together.

concrete blonde's "someday" is playing into my soul.

have you ever had your "someday" become your now?

i sit in this september light, writing to you, and realize that we are creatures that are ever changing. we are responsible for our growth. we may not "change" people, but we most certainly effect them.

we change ourselves, however, and when your life is around the corner, and then you are climbing its hills, wading through its waters, weeping in its sorrows, predicting, breathing, becoming, evolving, ever wishing, ~

well. my someday has somehow hurdled through space towards me, since i was a child, and before that, even, the soul that is mine and mine alone, the me that is galaxies and star blood and moon shadows, this yet another blink of the universal eye, an outbreath of the goddess, a destiny i have caught up with.

bands of sparkling symbols circle round the ring finger of my left hand.

i chose not in fear but in trust and love.

dreams of writing and castles and books and flowers and babies in spain serenade me...

i blush and laugh into myself, this unpredictable and yet so perfect happening.

a wife? yes, and so much more.

i write this at the beginning of yet another journey and adventure as a woman, a soul.

i want to share the joy i feel with all who read this~

the whys and hows and whats are inconcesequential, what matters is our open hearts.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


i had to get new tires put on our car today and it completely threw me out of my game, as i had soo many things to do for our trip to california, packing, errands, cleaning, etc.

im sitting at the tire place with the baby and my three year old and she is running around all over the place (i bribed her with popcorn) and the baby is fussing and it took a full hour OVER the time they said it would take.

and im grumbling and muttering and complaining and rolling my eyes and sighing and fidgeting and in general feeling annoyed (and im sure being very annoying) and i finally get the car and im stomping in puddles getting the kids in their car seats

and we get in the car.

and i look up and see a double rainbow.

a double rainbow!

and all three of us are staring into this beautiful, vast, rainy (yet sunny too!) pacific northwest sky and we start to giggle and we start talking about rainbows, and i see other people notice the rainbows, and pointing at the rainbows, and my dreary complainy day completely shifted.

sometimes, to see the rainbows, you have to look up.

quick words.

my life seems to be comprised of bits and pieces, little slots of times, jolts and starts, lulls and silences.

when i catch my breath, i realize i have been breathing too fast.

i was nestled in between my two girls last night and i felt momentary bliss. and i realized that bliss is always momentary, otherwise it would just be normal. bliss is not supposed to be every day- its supposed to be infused into the ordinary so we sit up and take notice.

my three year old asked me the other day if we could see God. i said well, you can see God when you look at the trees and mountains and skies and clouds. and she said oh, like God is painting! and then she said do kitty cats love God? and i said yes. and then she thought for a moment..... and said, and puppy dogs?

and that is what it is all about.

on another note, we bought a de-chlorinator for our bath tub and my daughters excema is going away and my skin is softer as well. who knew? god bless google.

i am trying to remember that sometimes inspiration does not find me, sometimes i have to conjure it up by sheer acts of will.

send me good wishes for my road trip with two small little ones.
i will take pics from the road to show you.

Saturday, November 7, 2009


a very sick household and an underactive thyroid are making me feel less then inspired.
however, i am taking a holiday to california with my family and i will take and post pictures.
sending blessings to one and all who may read this. all three of you! ha! :)