we talk of our own gallery/photography/makeup artist/painting/music studio.
we talk of italy, australia, spain, and new york and cross country road trips in an r.v. with a suitcase each.
we talk of long walks through cobblestone alleys and tropical sunsets with sandy feet and skyscrapers over bays and cafes and the whole world as a playground.
i bought myself a dark blue dress today with pink eyelet cutouts on the ruffled bottom and just wearing this dress makes me feel beautiful because it looks good with my cowboy boots with the flowers on them and also its easy and summery and so ME.
i have been working out and my body feels stronger. fierce, even.
i am finding more joy in my daily life, and i am inspired.
it rained all day here, a summer rain with gusts of breezes and fat rain drops and steam rising from the dirt and weird patches of sun and furtive glances.
i feel opened and renewed.
my three year old said to me today: "oh, your shirt is sooo tute, mama!" and it was SO sweet and innocent and darling, they way she says some of her words, saying tute instead of cute,so heartfelt but mispronounced, that i felt like scooping her up in my arms and holding her so she would never grow up. my little girls are so beautiful it makes my heart ache. i am aware of my time being finite and it fills me with a bittersweet reminder to try to always enjoy them, for soon enough i will not be kissing boo boos and washing sticky fingers or giving bubble baths or tucking them in. i will be their mother always, yes, but they will never again need me the way they do now.
my baby discovered her hands today and she has been staring at her fingers like they are galaxies, endless and fascinating. she has been laughing and really, there is nothing that could possible make me happier then their joy and pure souls teaching me and guiding me.
my growth is making me feel like a better mother.
it is mid june and i am peaceful tonight.