RAAAAWWWWWWRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. i saw a picture of myself and i had back rolls. i looked 5 months pregnant and my jeans looked like tights practically.
i have gained and lost and lost and gained the same ten pounds since my baby was born 16 months ago. i am a vegetarian, but the lazy high fat high carb kind. (im italian, ok?)
so, i saw this picture and was absolutely horrified. can i be beautiful and be fat? im not sure. i see beautiful fat girls everywhere. i am not one of them. for me, this weight is about so much more then food. i eat when i am not hungry, i eat out of boredom, sadness, being tired. i make excuses for myself. i eat organic, healthy, non processed foods- but too much of them. i have been working out fairly consistently, but i saw this picture and decided NO MORE EXCUSES (or baguettes, croissants, butter, or cheese, for that matter)
SO.
I am on day THREE of almost all raw. Today is the first morning in i do not know how many years, where I DID NOT DRINK ALL OF MY COFFEE. for breakfast i had a green smoothie with kale, berrie, mango, acai, hemp seeds, a date, and some gogi berries. my skin, after only three days, is almost completely clear! diets dont work for me. i need to be able to eat my food and eat a lot and feel good about what i am putting into my body. i am going to post a before pic of me two weeks ago, and then a pic of me now and then in another two weeks. i am going to take it one day at a time.
i feel like a lioness, opening up- i did YOGA with my four year old this morning and she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "mommy yoga makes me happy and tired"
send me positive vibes to keep up with my raw, pure and living foods plan. i feel so much better already. i need to lose 50 pounds. and i am going to lose it by eating RAW!