remembering to live life consciously as an artist, mother and soul.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
all you need is love.
last line of last song of last beatles album:
and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my husband has been gone for 8 days, and heres some things i miss:
his almost completely full coffee cups he leaves all over the house- he takes ONE sip and then forgets about them, and then does that two or three times.
his whiskers all over the sink after he shaves.
someone to drink coffee WITH in the morning.
how we talk about whatever we are reading.
how even when hes not really listening i barrage him with my anecdotes and philosophies and how sometimes i will follow him all over the house, saying you know? you know babe? babe? babe? and he will just smile.
that in the morning, NO MATTER WHAT, he will say good morning.
talking about what we are going to do with our day.
his playing guitar. i miss singing our song.
my husband and i have been through everything. death, life and everything in between. good and bad. sorrow and loss. we have been friends and lovers and just parents of children and back again and in and outs of all the taboo things married people go through but no one admits. we almost got DIVORCED for crying out loud. we are getting into our groove and learning about ourselves within our relationship and re-discovering how we want it to be.
our five year wedding anniversary is on sunday. we have someone to watch the girls (thanks rebecca!) and we are going to go on a date ALL BY OURSELVES!
my husband is spanish and beautiful and mercurial. he is passionate and explosive and hotheaded. if you can hang through his exterior, you will see that inside he is gentle and loving and soft and generous and wise. he is a gemini, so you know, he is actually TWO people.
i have a box, in the corner of a closet, filled almost to the brim with letters we have written each other over the years. some of these letters were written in:
airplanes and airports a blizzard in santa fe various different beaches in california kauai miami cafes bars restaurant's cars trains
if i were to put them all together and bind them with a ribbon, the letters would be a book. perhaps for our grandchildren?
i am exhausted. i do not think i would much like being a single mother of two.
and i am so glad that i have a little family and there are so many things to look forward to and to be grateful for.
close your eyes. imagine your life without your husband/wife/partner/children. puts things into perspective when you picture your life without the people you love.